Culross play, 1893

[King of Macedonia]

Here come I, the great King of Macedonia,
Conquered all the world round.
When first I came to Scotland my heart was so cold
To see this little nation so proud and so bold,
So proud and so bold, so frank and so free,
That I called upon Gallachen to fight along with me.

[Gallachen]

Here come I, Gallachen -
Gallachen is my name -
My sword and pistol by my side,
I hope to win the game.

[King of Macedonia]

The game, sir, the game, is not within your power,
For with this little weapon I'll slay you in less than half an hour.

[Gallachen]

What's that you say?

[King of Macedonia]

I say what I mean.

[Gallachen]

Well, let us begin, {dead man}

[Unknown]

Any doctors in this town?

[Doctor Brown]

Yes, here come I, the little Doctor Brown,
The best old doctor in the town.

[Unknown]

What can you cure?

[Doctor Brown]

The rout, the gout, the ringworm, and the scurvy!

[Unknown]

Do you think you could cure a dead man?

[Doctor Brown]

Oh, well, I'll try.
Here's a little box of inkey-pinkey
I got from my great-grandmother-in-law.
Put a little on his back,
put a little on his head.
Rise up. Jack, and sing a song.

[Loser]

Once I was dead, but now I'm alive -
Blessed be the doctor who made me alive! -
And we'll all join hands, and we'll never fight no more,
And we'll be happy comrades, as we were before.