A Christmas Play [Broughton, Lincs.] - Text A - 1824

{Enter Fool}

Fool

Gentlemen and Ladies
I'm come to see you all
This merry time of Christmas,
I neither knock nor call;
I come in so brisk and bold
with confidence I say.
What can you expect of a Fool
that knows no other way.
A Fool I know I am
and so do you.
Fools and little children
for most parts speaks true.
My name is noble Anthony
I'm as live and as blyth and as mad
and as melancholy as that mantletree
make room for noble Anthony
and all his Jovial Company.

Lady

When I was a maid in blooming years
my pleasure was all in pride.
My tatling tongue could never lie still
in service to abide.
I thought it long all in my Arms
a young man to embrace
but instead of a man I meet with a Clown
is not that a sad pitiful Case.

Fool

a pitiful case indeed Madam.
Hey, ho! wher's all this paltry poor;
still paltry in this place,
and yet not perfect for shame,
step forth
peoples eyes look's dim
with a very red expectation.

1st Ribboner

How now m'e Amorous George
still as live and as blyth and as mad
and as melancholy as that Mantletree.
What play have you got here today.

Fool

play boy,

1st Ribboner

Yes play
I look upon the Tittle of the spectimony once a year
you old scallibush
nothing but parch pennyworth
tuf coal callyely
old callymuf's
you rolling, bolling bangling fool
stand out of my sight.

Fool

Zounds what a man have I got here

1st Ribboner

man you mistake in me.
i'm no talker I am a Juggler.
I can shew you the trick of the twelves,
as many tricks as there are days in the year
toils and moils and motes in the Sun.
I have them all upon my Finger end
Jack in the loft quick and be gone.

Fool

now man I'l warrant the

1st Ribboner

Hey now man I see thou can do something,
hold thy hand,
here's a Shilling for thy labour;
take to that poltry of the poor and throw unto them,
say thou hast quite lost the title of this play,
callyflaskin jest shall stenge our sight
and you shall hear a new delight.

{1st Rbr. to the Lady}

Well meet fair Lady in this place,
the exercise that is in the
will over shade the fairest face,
when beauty comes on high degree
since once to you I've told my mind
I pray fair Lady dont be unkind
It is your beauty makes me say.
I shall go blind and loose my way.

Fool

I will lead you Sir)

Lady

Courteous Knight how must this be.
You will no answer take of me
you look so great I do declare
you come to me but in a jeer.

1st Ribboner

A jeer dear love it is not so.
I'll make it known before I go.
before I go hence from this place,
I will obtain your comely face.

Lady

Away away from me begone,
a witty man or I'll have none

2n Ribboner

Aman for wit I am the best
that ever did to you express
I have such causes underhand
no man like I can understand

Lady

A lawyer I suppose you be
you plead your cause so wittily
but by and by I'll tell you plain
the cause you plead is all in vain

2n Ribboner

My wit it never did me fail,
if not for hopes it would prevail
If not for hopes my heart would burst
and in your love I put my trust

Lady

Away away out of my sight,
go talk along with yon fair Knight

1st Ribboner and 2n Ribboner

{Sing}

be she gone be she gone
farewell I care not
for if she's a pretty thing
I've had my share on't,
For if she has more Land than I
by one half acre
I'v plow'd and sown in her Ground
let the Fool take her -

3 Ribr.

I am my Fathers eldest Son
and heir to all his Lands
and hope in a short time
it will all fall in my hands.
I was brought up at Linsecourt
all the days of my life,
I'm walking with this Lady fair
I wish she were my wife.
Her fingers long with rings upon
all made of pure Gold.
good Master and good Mistress
I'd have you here behold.

Lady

It is my clothing you admire
its not my company you desire
so farewell I'll bid adieu.
Step in kind sir here's room for you.

{Enter Husdandman}

Husbandman

Here comes I the Husbandman
upon my principal for to stand.
I'm come to woo this Lady fair
to gain her love thats all I care

Lady

To gain my love that never will do
you speak so clownish I to woo.

Husbandman

I'v cart, I'v plow, I'v husbandry,
I Gold and Silver enough for the,
I'v something else will do the good
will nourish thy veins and warm thy blood.
I've something else for the beside
if thou'l consent to be my bride

Lady

My fathers working at his loom
my Mothers spinning hard at home
their Dinners they'v got
their Suppers they want
so I pray you be gone and give me your room.

Ancient Man

Here comes I the old Ancient Man
to speak for myself the best I can,
my old Grey locks thy hang so low
I'll speak for myself the best I know.

Lady

Cheer up old man and never fear
Wipe thy Eyes and thou'l see clear.

Ancient Man

Hey Hey me thinks me see the stars shine bright
mee's come to y-'a my Arts delight.

Lady

why dost thou think I can fancy such an Old man as thee.
No I'll have one of a higher degree.

Ancient Man

Kick my Ladie out of the room.
I'll be hang'd over our Kitchen door
if ever I come to court y'a any more.

Lady

Take your porridge face away.

Ancient Man

My porridge face is as handsome as y'-rs and ugly enough too-)

Jane

I comes Jane with along neck'd Crane
come dappling ore the meadow
she's fib'd before to shew you some sport
look about you old Maids and Widows.

Fool

long time I'v sought but now I'v found
my joy and only asturd.

Jane

but since you'v said so and calld me your Whore
Sarrah come take your Bastard

Fool

Bastard T'is none of mine its not a bit like me.
I'm a valiant Knight just come from sea
you never heard talk of me before did ye.
I kill'd ten men with a mess of mustard,
ten thousand with my bright Sword.

Jane

I have a sheep skin
to lap them in
look about you old maids and Widows,

Fool

had I been aman in this country known
and my valour had been shown
Sound Music Sound. I'm just agoing (row de dow)

Fool

Stop abit
I have abit of a Song to Sing to my Lady before I go
I'll Snite my Eyes and clear my Nose
and see what I can do before I go

{Sings}

My love My dear My Dove My Duck
one pleasant smile my heart will cheer
but if on me you cast one frown
I greatly fear it will knock me down

Lady

Indeed kind Sir since you say so
to banter me will never do.
when I become a Married Wife,
there after follows care and Strife

{Fool sings again}

Fool

Alas sweetheart you are mis-tain
for more than that I'll tell you plain,
A maiden she must run and go
toil and moil through care and woe
whereas a married wife may sit and rest
pray tell me which lifes the best.

Lady

Indeed kind Sir since you say so
Along and along with you I'll go.
I'll wed with none but only you
to all other gallants I'll bid adieu -

Fool

Adieu and Adieu to all but you my Dear.
You may all behold and see
T'is the Fool that leads away the fair Ladie -

Fool

Im come to invite you all to my Wifes Wedding and mine
and what you like best you may bring along with you
how the duce should I know what you all like
some likes fish some likes flesh
some likes kissing and some likes, frummity
but as for my part I'm a good deal the nature of my old Grandmother
she talks short tongu'd and I learnt to talk after her.
But I'll tell you what m'e Ladie and I likes
and we will have it too
we will have a long taild porridge thickn'd with barley meal
we will have a good salt herring to relish a quart of ale,
we will provide for the wedding as fast as ever we may
we will have a jovial wedding the fiddle shall merrily play

{Fool says}

Fool

Hedge about boys and I'll knock down stakes.

Ancient Man

and I'll help to bind.

Fool

so now our sport is Ended
you will hear our voices ring
I hope you'r well contented
so God save the King.
we're not those Lonnon actors
that Hacks in Lonnon court,
we are the Country plow lads
just com'd from plow and cart
So I hope you'r well contented
with what we have shown you here
I wish you a Merry Christmas
and a happy New Year,
and what you please to my box
and a sup of your Strong Beer.

{3 Ribboners Sing}

[The Three Ribboners]

God bless the Master of this House
and send him long to reign
a many merry Christmas's
we wish to see him again,
amongst our Friends and Neighbours
that live both far and near.
We wish you a merry Xmas
and a happy New Year

{Finis}