In comes I poor old Father Christmas. Welcome or welcome not.
I hope poor old Father Christmas will never be forgot
He come wandering and tandering down
from the city of London town
he is just now turned into his 99 years of age.
And he can hop skip and jump like a blackbird in a cage
Room Room Ladys and Gentlemen an Room I do decray
Walk in King George and boldly clear the way.
In comes I King George that valent man of corage bold
let their blood be ever so hot I quickly fetch it cold.
In comes I turkey snipe
Just come from these turkey lands all for to fight.
I'll fight thee King George that valent man of corage bold
If your blood be ever so hot I will quickly fetch it cold.
Oh you proud and pard and turkey snipe
draw out your sword and fight.
Pull out your purse and pay.
For satisfaction I will have before you go away.
No satisfaction will I give nor money will I pay
you but your body I will have this night before I go away.
Oh you turkey snipe
go home to your own lands to fight
and tell the Americans what I have done
I've killed ten thousand to your one.
Oh Doctor Doctor is there a Doctor to be found
can quickly rise my noble son that lies bleeding on the ground.
Oh yes there is a Doctor to be found
that can quickly rise your noble son that lies bleeding on the ground.
What is your fees Mr Doctor
ten guineas is my fees.
but full and fifty I will have of thee
being a poor man
and that I will have before I go away.
No such money as that you will have of me.
Don't run away I will be satisfied with half of it.
Well Doctor what can you cure.
I have a little bottle in my pocket what we call elecome pain
Whitch will cure the itch stich pausy and the gout
Raging pains both in and out
are leg broke are arm broke nect broke
are his nose swelled as a tan leathern bottle
I drop one drop on his head and one on his heart
Rise up young man and play your part.
how long have I been laying on this blessed floor
I havee havee hagged I been draged
I have been draged from door to door
tomorrow morning at the Hour of five
I'll meet thee King George if I'm alive.
Oh turkey snipe
go home to your own lands an fight
and tell all what I done
I have killed ten thousand to your one.
Oh parden me King George oh parden me I pray
Oh parden me for ever more and I'll be thy turkey slave
home goes I with my strict discharge
God bless the turks likewise King George.
[Little Johnne Man]
In comes I little Johnne man
with a glittering sword all in my Hand.
If are man wants to fight let him come on.
In comes I the valent soldier bold Slasher is my name.
With my broad sword and cutlash and buckle by my side
I hope to win the game
twas I that fought the fiery dragon
and by those weary means I won the King of Egypt's daughter.
In comes I soldier bold
As I was walking allong the road
I heard great talks and Wonders of that man of corage bold
let his blood be ever so hot I'll quickly fetch it cold.
In comes I little Johnne Jack
with the wife and family at my back
although I am so verry small
I am the biggest Rogue amongest you all
When I walks I walks abroad
When I sets I sets at ease
Ladys and Gentlemen give the Christmass boys what you please
a pot of your good ale would make us whisel and sing
money in Xms box is a very fine thing
Roast Beef and plum pudding and Xms pie
who likes that better than old Father Xms and I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I.
"Communicated by Captain Kettlewell. The manuscript, which is in an illiterate hand, is written as prose, but with occasional stops at the end of lines. Each speech down to nine inclusive is called a Part."