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Infallible Mountebank - 1707

P.A.Motteux & R.Leveridge (1707)

Context

Location: 
[Unlocated]
Time of Occurrence: 
[Not given]
Collective name: 
[Not given]

Source

Author: 
P.A.Motteux & R.Leveridge (1707)
Title: 
The Mountebank. A Song in the Quacks or Farewell Folly
Publication: 
London, 1707

Cast

Doctor

Text

DOCTOR

See, Sirs, see here!
A Doctor rare,
who Travels much at home!
Here take my Bills.
I cure all Ills,
past, present, and to come ;
The Cramp, the Stitch,
The Squirt, the Itch,
the Gout, the Stone the Pox ;
The Mulligrubs.
The Bonny Scrubs,
and all Pandora's Box ;
Thousands I've Dissected.
Thousands new erected,
and such Cures effected,
as none e're can tell.
Let the Palsie shake ye.
Let the Chollick rack ye.
Let the Crinkums break ye.
Let the Murrain take ye ;
take this and you are well.
Come wits so keen,
Devour'd with spleen ;
come Beaus who sprain'd your backs.
Great Belly'd Maids.
Old Founder'd Jades,
and Pepper'd Vizard Cracks.
I soon remove
The pains of love,
and cure the Love-sick Maid ;
The Hot, the Cold.
The Young, the Old,
the Living and the Dead.
I Clear the Lass,
With Wainscot Face,
and from Pimginets free,
Plump Ladies Red,
Like Saracen's Head,
with Toaping Rattafia.
This with a Jirk,
will do your Work,
and Scour you o're anc o're.
Read. Judge and Try
And if you Die,
never believe me more.

Notes

Peter Millington's Notes:

This song also appears later in broadsides under the title "The Infallible Mountebank, or Quack Doctor". It gives a long list of cures, many of which are used in the "Alexander and the King of Egypt" chapbook.

Notes from Ian Chandler:

While 1707 may have been the date this song was first printed, the records of the Drury Lane Theatre, London show that the play ran for five days from 18th January 1705 (1704/5 in the old calendrical system. See www.personal.psu.edu/faculty/h/b/hb1/London%20Stage%202001/lond1704.pdf. On page 4, it says: "Motteux's Farewel Folly had a so-so five-night initial run (18 January)."