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{The Plow Boys, or Morris Dancers}
{Enter Fool}
Fool
You gentle Lords of honour
of high & low, I say
We all desire your favour
For to see our pleasant Play
Our Play it is the best kind Sirs
That you would like to know
And we will do our best Sirs
And think it well bestowd
Tho' some of us be little
And some of a middle sort
We all desire your favour
To see our pleasant sport
You must not look on our Actions
Our Wits they are all to seek
So I pray take no exceptions
At what I am agoing to speak
We are come over Mire & Moss
We dance an Hobby Horse
A Dragon you shall see,
And a wild Worm for to Flee.
Still we are all brave, jovial boys
And takes delight in Christmas toys
We are come both for Bread & Beer
And hope for better Cheer.
And something out of your Purse Sir
Which I hope you will be never the Worse Sir
Still we are all brave jovial Boys
And takes delight in Christmas Toys
Come now, Mr. Musick Man play me my delightFidler
What is that old Father.
Fool
Ah Boy Times is hard,
I love to have Money in both PocketsFidler
You shall have it old Father
Fool
Let me see it
{The Fool then calls in his five Sons: first Pickle Herring, then blue Britches, then Ginger Britches, Pepper Britches, & last calls out}
come now you Mr. Allspice
{They foot it once round the Room, and the Man that is to ride the Hobby Horse goes out, and the rest sing the following song -}
[Rest]
Come in come in thou Hobby Horse,
And bring thy old fool at thy Arse
Sing tanterday, sing tanterday
Sing heigh down, down, with a Derry down a{Then the Fool and the Horse fights about the Room, whilst the following song is singing by the rest}
[Rest]
Come in, come in, thou bonny wild Worm
For thou hast ta'en many a lucky turn
Sing tanteraday sing tanteraday
Sing heigh down, down with a Derry Down{The wild Worm is only sprung 3 of 4 Times as the Man walks round the room, and then goes out, & the Horse & the Fool fights again whilst the following song is sung:}
[Rest]
Come in come in thou Dragon stout
And take thy compass round about
Sing tanteraday sing tanteraday
Sing heigh down, down with a derry down
Now you shall see a full fair fight
Betwixt our old Fool and his right
Sing tanteraday sing tanteraday
Sing heigh down, down with a derry down
Now our Scrimage is almost done,
Then you shall see more sport soon
Sing tanteraday, sing tanteraday
Sing heigh down, down with a derry downThe Fool
Up well hark & up well hind
Let every Man then to his own kind
Sing tanteraday sing tanteraday
Sing heigh down, down with a derry down
Come follow me merry Men all
Tho' we have made bold for to call
It is only once by the Year
That we are so merry here.
Still we are all brave jovial Boys
And takes delight in Christmas Toys{Then they all foot it round the Room and follows the Fool out.}
{The all reenter, and lock their Swords to make the Glass, The Fool runing about the Room}
Pickle Herring
What is the matter now Father
Fool
Why I tell the what Pickle Herring
as I was alooking round about me
through my wooden Spectacles
made of a great huge little tiney bit of leather
placed right behind me, even before me,
I thought I saw a feat thing -Pickle Herring
You thought you saw a feat thing,
what might this feat thing be think you FatherFool
How can I tell Boy except I see it again -
Pickle Herring
Would you know it if you see it again
Fool
I cannot tell the Boy, let me get it looked at
{Pickle Herring holding up the Glass says}
[Pickle Herring]
is this it Father
{The Fool looking round says}
[Fool]
Why I protest Pickle Herring the very same thing,
but what might thou call this very pretty ThingPickle Herring
What might you call it you are older than I am -
Fool
How can that be Boy when I was born before you
Pickle Herring
That is the reason that makes you older
Fool
Well what dost thou call this very pretty thing
Pickle Herring
Why I call it a fine large looking Glass
Fool
Let me see what I can see in this fine large looking Glass,
here's a hole though it I see, - I see and I seePickle Herring
You see and you see; & what do you see.
Fool
Marry e'en a Fool just like the
Pickle Herring
It is only your own face in the Glass -
Fool
Why, a fool may be mistain sometimes Pickle Herring,
but what might this fine large looking Glass cost the -Pickle Herring
That fine large looking Glass cost me a Guinea -
Fool
A guinea boy,
why I could have bought as good a one at my own Door
for three half pencePickle Herring
Why Fools & Cuckholds has always the best luck
Fool
That is a much to say thy Father is one
Pickle Herring
Why you pass for one.
{The Fool keeping the Glass all the while in his Hands, says}
Fool
Why was thou such a Ninnee Boy,
to go to ware a Guinea,
to look for thy Beauty,
where it never was,
but I will shew the Boy
how foolish thou hast wared a deal of good money -{Then the Fool flings the Glass upon the Floor jumps upon it then the Dancers every one drawing out his own sword, and the Fool dancing about the Room, Pickle Herring takes him by the Collar and says}
Pickle Herring
Father, Father you are so merylly disposed this good time
there is no talking to you,
Here is very bad News.Fool
Very good News I am glad to hear it
I do not hear good News every dayPickle Herring
It is very bad News -
Fool
Why what is the matter now Boy
Pickle Herring
We have all concluded to cut off your Head
Fool
be mercyfull to me a Sinner,
if you sh'd do as you have said,
there is no such Thing,
I w'd not lose my Son Pickle Herring for fifty Pounds.Pickle Herring
It is your Son Pickle Herring that must lose you,
it is your Head we desire to take offFool
My Head,
I never had my Head taken off in all my LifePickle Herring
You both must & shall -
Fool
hold hold Boy, thou seem'st to be in good earnest,
but I'll tell the where I'll be buryedPickle Herring
Why where will you be buried but in the Church Yard
where other People are buried -Fool
Church Yard I never was buried there in all my life.
Pickle Herring
Why where will you be buried -
Fool
Ah Boy I am often dry
I will be buried in Mr. Mirfin's Ale Celler,Pickle Herring
It is such a place as I never heard talk off, in all my life
Fool
No nor nobody else Boy
Pickle Herring
What is your fancy to be buried there
Fool
ah Boy, I am oftens dry
& when they come to fill the Quart I'll drink it off,
and they will wonder what is the matterPickle Herring
How can you do so when you will be dead,
we shall take your Head from your Body,
and you will be dead.Fool
If I must die, I will dye with my face to the light for all you -
{Then the Fool kneeling down with the Swords round his Neck - says}
Fool
Now Gentlemen you see how ungrateful my Children is grown,
when I had them all at Home,
small about as big as I am
I put them out to good learning,
I put them to Coxcomb Colledge
& to the University of Loggerheads,
and I took them Home again this good time of Christmas,
and I examin'd them one by one altogether for shortness,
And now they are grown so proud, & so presumptious
they are a-going to kill their old Father for his little means;
So I must dye for all thisPickle Herring
You must dye Father
Fool
And I will die for all the tother
But I have a little something,
I will give it amongst you as far as it goes,
and then I shall dye quietlyPickle Herring
I hope you will -
Fool
So to my first Son Pickle Herring
I'll give him the Roaned Nag,
And that will make the Rogue brag,
And to my second Son
I'll give him the brindled Cow;
And to my Third Son
I'll give him the sanded Sow,
And hope I shall please you all enow;
And to my Fourth Son
I'' give him the great ruff Dog
for he always lives like a Hog;
And to my fifth Son
I'll give him the Ram,
And I'll die like a Lamb{Then they draw their swords and the Fool falls on the Floor, and the Dancers walk once round the Fool, & Pickle Herring stamps with his foot, & the Fool rises on his knees again; and Pickle Herring says}
Pickle Herring
How now Father
Fool
How now there Boy
I have another Squeak for my lifePickle Herring
You have a many -
{Then the dancers puting their swords round the Fools neck again}
Fool
So I must dye
Pickle Herring
You must dye Father -
Fool
Hold I have yet a little something more to leave amongst you,
& then I hope I shall dye quietly
So to my first Son Pickle Herring
I'll give him my Cap & my Coat
A very good Sute Boy;
And to my second Son
I'll give him my Purse & Apparel
but be sure Boys, you do not quarrel;
As to my other Three;
My Executors they shall be{Then Pickle Herring puting his hand to his sword}
Fool
hold hold Boy; Now I submit my soul to God
Pickle Herring
a very good thought old Father
Fool
Mareham Church Yard I hope shall have my Bones
{Then the dancers walk round the Fool with their Swords in their Hands, and Pickle Herring stamps with his foot, & says}
[Pickle Herring]
Heigh old Father
Fool
Why Boy since I have been out this troublesome World,
I have heard so much Musick of Fiddles playing, & bells ringing
that I have a great fancy to go away singing,
so prithee Pickle Herring let me have one of thy best SongsPickle Herring
You shall have it old Father
Fool
Let me see it
{They Sing}
[Fool & Pickle Herring]
Good People all I pray you now behold
Our old Fool's Bracelet is not made of Gold
But it is made of Iron & good Steel
And unto Death we'll make this old Fool yieldFool
I pray forbear my Children small
For as I am lost as Parent to you all
O let me live a while your Sport for to advance
That I may rise again and with you have a dance{The Sons sing.}
[Sons]
Now old Father you now know our Will
That for your Estate we do your Body kill
Soon after Death the Bell for you shall toll
And wish the Lord he may receive your Soul{Then the Fool falls down, and the Dancers with their Swords in their Hands sings the following Song}
[Dancers]
Good People all you see what we have done,
We have cut down our Father like ye Evening Sun
And here he lies in all his purple gore
And we are afraid he never will dance more{Fool rises from the floor & says}
[Fool]
No no my Children by chance you are all mistain
For here I find myself I am not slain
But I will rise,, your Sport then to advance
And with you all brave Boys I'll have a dance{Then the foreman & Cicely dances down and the other Two Couple stand their ground, after a short dance called Jack the brisk young Drummer, they all go out but the Fool, Fidler & Cicely}
Fool
hear you do you please to hear the sport of a Fool
Cicely
a Fool for why
Fool
because I can neither leap skip nor dance,
but cut a Caper thus high,
sound Musick, I must be gon
the Lord of Pool draws nigh -{Enter Pickle Herring}
Pickle Herring
I am the Lord of Pool,
& here begins my Measure
And after me a Fool
To dance a While for pleasure
In Cupids SchoolFool
A Fool a fool a fool,
A Fool I heard thou say
But more the other way
For here I have a Tool
Will make a Maid to play
Although in Cupids school
Come all away{Enter Blue Britches.}
Blue Britches
I am the Knight of Lee
And here I have a Dagger
Offended not to be.
Come in, thou needy Beggar
And follow me{Enter Ginger Britches.}
Ginger Britches
Behold behold behold
A man of poor Estate
Not one penny to infold{Enter Pepper Britches.}
Pepper Britches
My money is out at use or else I would
{Enter Mr. Allspice}
Allspice
With a Hack a hack a hack
See how I will skip & dance.
For joys that we have found
Let each man take his Chance
And we will all dance around{Then they dance the Sword Dance which is called Nellys Gig, then they run under their Swords, which is called running Battle; Then Three Dancers dances with 3 swords and the foreman jumping over the Swords then the Fool goes up to Cicely}
Fool
Here comes I that never come yet,
Since last time lovy
I have a great Head but little wit
Tho' my Head be great & my Wits be small
I can play the Fool for a while as well as best of you all
My name is noble Anthony
I am as meloncholly as a Mantle Tree
I am come to show you a little sport & activity
& soon too,
make Room for Noble Anthony
And all his good Company.
drive out all these proud Rogues
and let my Lady & I have a parl!Cicely
O ye Clown, what makes you drive out my Men so soon,
Fool
O Pardon Madam pardon
and I will never offend you more
I will make your Men come in as fast
As ever they did beforeCicely
I pray you at my Sight & drive it not till Night
That I may see them dance once more so lovely I my SightFool
A faith madam & so I will, I will play the Man
And make them come in as fast as ever I can -
But hold Gip Mrs. Clagarse how do you sell GeeseCicely
Go look Mister Midgecock twelve pence apiece
Fool
Oh the pretty Pardon
Cicely
A Gip for a Frown
Fool
An ale wife for an Apparitor
Cicely
a Rope for a Clown
Fool
Why, all the devise in the country
cannot pull this down
I am a valiant Knight
just come from the Seas
You do know me do you
I can kill ten thousd. tho' they be but Fleas
I can kill you a Man for an ounce of Mustard
Or I can kill you ten thousand for a good Custard
I have an old Sheep skin
And I lap it well in
Sword & Buckler by my side all ready for to fight
Come out you Whores & Gluttons all
for had it not been in this Country
I shd. not have shewen my valour amongst you;
but sound Musick for I must be gone.{enter Pickle Herring}
Pickle Herring
In first & formost do I come
All for to lead this Race
Seeking the Country far & near
So fair a Lady to embrace,
So fair a Lady did I never see,
So comely in my Sight
Drest in her gaudy Gold
And silver shining bright
She has fingers long, and Rings
Of honor of beaten Gold
My Masters all behold
It is now for some pretty dancing time
And we will foot it fine.Blue Britches
I am a Youth of Jollitree
Where is there one like unto me
My hair is bush'd very thick;
My Body is like an Hasel stick
My Legs they quaver like an Eel
My Arms become my Body weel
My Fingers they are long & small
Am not I a jolly Youth proper & tall
Therefore Mister Musick Man
Whatsoever may be my chance
It is for my Ladies Love & mine
Strike up the Morris Dance.{then they foot it once round}
Ginger Britches
I am a jolly young Man of Flesh blood & bone
Give ear my Masters all each one -
And especially you my Lady dear,
I hope you like me well
Of all the gallants here
It is I that doth so well.
Therefore Mister Musick Man,
Whatsoever may be my chance,
It is for my Ladie's love and mine
Strike up the Morris Dance{then they foot it round}
Pepper Britches
I am my Fathers eldest Son
And Heir of all his Land
And in a short time I hope
It will fall into my Hands
I was brought up at Lindsey Court
All the Days of my Life
Here stands a fair Lady
I wish she was my Wife.
I love her at my Heart
And from her I will never start
Therefore Mr. Musick Man play up my partFool
And mine too
{enter Allspice & they foot it round Pickle Herring Suter to Cicely takes her by the Hand & walks about the Room}
Pickle Herring
Sweet Ciss, if thou wilt be my love,
A thousand Pounds I will give thee.Cicely
No you're too old Sir and I am too young
And alas! old Man that must not bePickle Herring
I'll buy the a Gown of violet blue,
A Petticoat imbroadered to thy knee,
Likewise my love to thee shall be true.Cicely
But alas old Man that must not be.
Pickle Herring
Thou shalt walk at thy pleasure love all the Day
If at Night thou will but come home to me.
And in my House bear all the swayCicely
Your Children they'll find fault with me.
Pickle Herring
I'll turn my Children out of Doors
Cicely
And so I fear you will do me
Pickle Herring
Nay then sweet Ciss ne'er trust me more
For I never loved Lass like the before{enter Fool}
Fool
No nor behind neither
Well met sweet Ciss well over ta'enCicely
You are kindly wellcome Sir to me.
Fool
I will wipe my Eyes & I'll look again
Me thinks sweet Ciss I now the see.Cicely
Raf what has thou to pleasure me
Fool
Why this my dear I will give the,
And all I have it shall be thineCicely
Kind Sir I thank you heartelly.
Pickle Herring {to The Fool}
Stand back, stand back thou silly old Swain
This Girl shall go with none but me,Fool
I will not
Pickle Herring
Stand back, stand back, or I'll cleave thy Brain
{then Pickle Herring goes up to Ciss and says}
O now sweet Ciss I am come to thee
Cicely
You are as wellcome as the rest
Wherein you brag so lustilly.Fool
For a Thousand Pounds she loves me best
I can see by the twinkling of her Ee.Pickle Herring
I have store of Gold whereon I boast
Likewise my Sword love, shall fight for the
When all is done love I'll scour the Coast
And bring in gold for thee & me.Cicely
Your Gold may gain as good as I
But by no means it shall tempt me
For youthfull Years and Frozen Age,
Cannot in any wise agree.{Then Blue Britches goes up to her and says}
[Blue Britches]
Sweet Mistress be advised by me
Do not let this old Man be denyed,
But love him for his Gold in store
Himself may serve for a Cloak beside.Cicely
Yes sir but you are not in the right.
Stand back, stand back & do not council me
For I love a lad that will make me laugh
In a secret place, to pleasure me.Fool
Good wench
Pickle Herring
Love I have a beard as white as milk
Cicely
Ne'er better for that, thou silly old Man
Pickle Herring
Besides my skin love is soft as silk.
Fool
And thy face shines like a dripping Pan
Pickle Herring
Rafe, what has thou to pleasure her
Fool
Why a great deal more Boy than there's in the
Pickle Herring
Nay then old Rogue I thee defye.
Cicely
Pray dear Friends fall not out for me
Pickle Herring
Once I could skip leap dance & sing
Why will not you give place to me.Fool
Nay then old Rogue I thee defye
For thy Nose stands like a Maypole Tree{Then goes up Ginger Breeches to Cisley & says}
[Ginger Breeches]
Sweet Mistress mind what this Man doth say
For he speaks nothing but the truth
Look on the Soldier now I pray
See is not he a handsome YouthCicely
Sir I am engaged to one I love -
And ever constant I will be .
There is nothing that I prize above.Pickle Herring
For a thousand Pounds she's gone from me
Fool
Thou may lay two
Cicely {to Pickle Herring}
Old Father for your Reverend Years
Stand you the next Man unto me,
Then he that doth the Weapon bear
For I will have the hind Man of the three.Fool {to Pickle Herring}
Old Father, a Fig for your old Gold
The Solder he shall bear no Sway
But you shall see & so shall we
'Tis I that carries the Lass away{Then the dancers takes hold of their Swords, and foots it round the Room, then every Man makes his Obeisance to the Master of the House, and the whole concludes.}
{Finis}
{A Song, called Landlord & Tennant}
Landlord
A story it is true be it known unto you
I have lately fallen Heir to some Land
Some little time ago, I was very poor & low
But have all things now at command
With my Hawk & my Hound & my Gelding for to ride
My Servants to wait & run by my side
Which is the biggest pleasure fortune can provide
I have Rents coming in twice a year.Tennant
I am a Man behold, that has got great store of gold
And your Tennant I am willing to be,
If you'll let me your Land Sir I'll take it here's my Hand Sir
And a Farmer I'll venture to be
And all that doth against the Land befall
Taxes & Town Charges, you shall pay them all
And all other Repairs, whether they be great or small
Then your Rent, you shall have twice a YearLandlord
Us Landlords live at ease, eats & drinks what we please
Which is the greatest pleasure that can a Man befall
We sit down by the Fire, drest in rich attire
We have our Servants to wait when we call
I walk up & down in my Chamber & my Room
Likewise in my Closet, amongst my rich perfume
There are few unto me come, or indeed dare presume
For I have Rents coming in twice a YearTennant
To the market I do ride, with my Hanger by my side
Which is the biggest pleasure that can a man befall
If a bargain I do see, that will beneficial me
I have money to pay for it all
Then streight into the Alehouse my Chapman for to pay
My Servants follow after, to drive my Goods away
I have no need, to put them up to feed, on Coin & Hay
For to pay you your Rent twice a Year -Landlord
You bear an outward shew, how it is I do not know
But of late full of money, you are grown
You drink, you drive a Trade, many Bargains you have made
So pray you Mr. Tennant, give some leave to speak
I am very much afraid, many such as you will break
Whilst we honest Landlords
Notes
"October ye 20 1779 the Morrice Dancers (named in Dramatis Personae) acted their merry dancing &c at Revesby in their Ribbon dresses, and two men from Kirtley without any particular dresses sang the Song of Landlord and Tennant.
John Ironmonger acted the Landlord, &
John Clarkson the Tennant."
"Dramatis Personae
Men
The Fool - John Johnson
Pickle Herring - Richd. Johnson
Blue Breeches - Henry Johnson
Pepper Breeches - John Tomlinson
Ginger Breeches - Chas. Hodgson
Mr. Allspice - Thos. Harness
Women
Cicely - John Fisher
Fidler or Mr. Musick Man - John Johnson junr."