Another Version of a Plough Monday Play from Clayworth, Notts. - 1913-1916

{Enter the Fool at door.}

Fool

In comes I that's never been before
With [any number] actors standing at the door.
Some can dance and some can sing.
If you consent I will walk in.

{Enters.}

In comes I that's never been yit
With my big head and little wit
My head's so great and my wit's so small
I can act the fool as well as you all.

{Enter King George.}

King George

In comes I King George,
A champion stout and bold,
I fought the fiery dragon
With my bright sword
And brought it to a slaughter;
By these deeds I won the King of Egypt's daughter.

Beelzebub

In comes I Beelzebub:
On my shoulder I carry a club,
In my hands a wetleather frying pan:
Don't you think I'm a nice old man?

{King George disputes this and starts boasting, saying where he has been etc.}

{They fight. Beelzebub falls.}

Fool

Five pounds for a doctor.

[Another person]

Ten pounds to stop away.

{Enter Doctor.}

Doctor

In comes I a doctor.

Fool

You a doctor?

Doctor

Yes - me a doctor.

Fool

What can you cure?

Doctor

The ipsy the pipsy the palsy and the gout,
Pains within and pains without,
The deaf the dumb, the blind the lame
And bring the dead to life again.

Fool

Just try your skill on this man.
There, he's dead enough.

{Doctor lakes bottle from his pocket. Beelzebub revives.}

Doctor

You're only in a trance.
Rise up and take a dance.

{Everyone then performs the dance.}

{Then end as in preceding version.}