T'Owd Tup, Eckington, 1969

{T'OWD TUP - ECKINGTON}

{Enter Old Man & Old Woman leading Tup - Collector follows them.}

OLD MAN & WOMAN CHANT:

Here comes me & our Old lass,
Short of money and short of brass,
Pay for a pint and let us sup,
And then we'll show you our old Tup.

{SING}

As we were going to Derby
Upon a market day,
We met the finest Tup
That ever fed on hay.
{CHO.} Fay-lay, fay-lay, laddie-fol-lairey-lay.

COLLECTOR:

What you doing with that Tup?

OLD MAN & WOMAN:

We're taking him to Derby to be stuck,
but we don't think he'll make it.
{ADDRESSING AUDIENCE} Is there a Butcher in the house?

COLLECTOR;

Our Bill's a Blacksmith.

OLD MAN & WOMAN;

You daft bugger, we don't want a Blacksmith, we want a Butcher,

COLLECTOR;

Our Bob's a Butcher.

OLD MAN & WOMAN:

You daft bugger, fetch him here - tell him he's wanted.

COLLECTOR:

Bob!! Bring yourself here - you're wanted.

BOB:

What's going on?
What's all the noise about?
{SEES TUP} By - that's as fine a Tup as ever I've seen,
where are you taking him?

OLD MAN & WOMAN:

We were taking him to Derby to be stuck,
but we don't think he'll make it,
so we want him sticking now.
Are you a Butcher?

BOB:

That I am - the best in Derby.

OLD MAN & WOMAN:

Will you stick the Tup?

BOB: {TAKING KNIFE FROM APRON}

Aye - I will that.
Where do you want him sticking - in the head or in the tail?

OLD MAN & WOMAN:

In the head to be sure.

{BOB PLUNGES KNIFE TO TUP'S HEAD - TUP FALLS TO THE GROUND MAKING APPROPRIATE NOISES. ALL SING.}

{ALL SING (EXCEPT BUTCHER)}

[All except Butcher]

And now the butcher has stuck the tup
Who's in danger of his life,
He's up to his knees in blood,
Crying out for a longer life.

{CHO.}

ALL SING

All the women in Derby
Came begging for his ears
To make then leather aprons
To last them forty years.

{CHO.}

And all the boys in Derby
Came begging for his eyes
To kick about the Derby streets,
For they were football size.

{CHO.}

All ths men in Derby
Came begging for his tail
To make a big strong rope with
To hang in Derby jail.

{CHO.}

And all the girls in Dorby
Came begging for his hide
To make the finest shoes with
To warm their feet inside.

{CHO.}

And now our song is ended,
We've got no more to say,
So please will you give us a copper or two
To help us on our way.

{CHO.}

{COLLECTER GOES ROUND WITH BOX.}